Topics Topics Help/Instructions Help Edit Profile Profile Member List Register  
Search Last 1 | 3 | 7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  

Visit The Brewery's sponsor!
Brews & Views Bulletin Board Service * Humor * When Insults Had Class < Previous Next >

  Thread Last Poster Posts Pages Last Post
  Start New Thread        

Author Message
 

Connie
Senior Member
Username: Connie

Post Number: 1163
Registered: 10-2000
Posted on Saturday, March 08, 2008 - 10:12 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

When Insults Had Class (no 4-letter words !!) These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy" - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - WinstonChurchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." -Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E.Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - OscarWilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
 

John Mark Holland
New Member
Username: Hansolo

Post Number: 5
Registered: 02-2008
Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2008 - 06:21 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"You, sir, are a babbling buffoon!" Phil Hartman in "House Guest". Buffoon just isn't used enough in the real world anymore.



---------------------
Attire for home brewers and humorous people
http://cafepress.com/ehinnovations
 

Dan Listermann
Senior Member
Username: Listermann

Post Number: 5427
Registered: 03-2004
Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2008 - 01:18 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I always liked "buffoonery."
 

Merle
Junior Member
Username: Merle

Post Number: 99
Registered: 05-2002
Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2008 - 03:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Winston Churchill sure had some good comebacks.



___________________
http://sellyourcraponebay.com
 

Bill Pierce
Moderator
Username: Billpierce

Post Number: 8620
Registered: 01-2002
Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2008 - 09:45 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Churchill's longstanding feud with Lady Astor was legendary. Once at a formal reception Churchill was very animated and seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. Lady Astor noticed this and came up to him. "Why Sir Winston," she said. "I believe you are quite drunk." "Indeed I am, madam," he replied. "And tomorrow I shall be quite sober. You, however, shall still be ugly."
 

J Holland
New Member
Username: Hansolo

Post Number: 6
Registered: 02-2008
Posted on Sunday, March 16, 2008 - 05:20 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Good one. ROFL. Churchill was a real butt kicker. Wish we could vote for him for president. He got any clones running around?




______________________
http://merleisjustjealous.com

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Bold text Italics Underline Create a hyperlink Insert a clipart image

Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Automatically activate URLs in message
Action: