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Graham Cox
Senior Member
Username: T2driver

Post Number: 1286
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 02:34 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Long story short, we're in the market for a new dog for my almost-6-year-old daughter.

My wife of almost 14 years takes her to a pet shop in Birmingham Saturday night while I'm booming in Asheville after judging at the Blue Ridge Brew Off. I get a couple of photos on my phone of this cute terrier-looking dog. My wife calls me up and is torn about whether or not to drop the $300 for the dog. I tell her, "You've got the credit card. I'm not there. I can't decide for you, but I'm not going to get mad either way. You decide."

She decides initially that it's too expensive. (We have plenty of money.) Then she reconsiders after a while, but by then, the dog has been sold to someone else.

Fast-forward to tonight. My mom emails me a 6-month-old Pomeranian, which is what my daughter wants but is typically $500-$900, that is LOCAL. PUREBRED. At a rescue shelter and it will cost me all of <$100 for neutering, shots, etc. I am ECSTATIC. My wife, however, is reticent.

I ask her, "WTF?" (paraphrased), and after much promting, she responds, "I wanted that one," meaning the one in Birmingham. I, being the typical male that I am, responded, "Well, he's gone. You're not going to get that one."

She freaks out, sobbing, "THAT'S MEAN!!! GET OUT!!! GO AWAY!!!"

Uh... He IS gone. You AREN'T going to get that one. I'm stating the obvious here. Uh...

You know, I've had a blessed marriage so far. We don't argue about much. This one, however, has taken me aback. The logic is inarguable, yet the result is baffling.

Comments welcome. I'm at a loss.
 

Paul Hayslett
Senior Member
Username: Paulhayslett

Post Number: 1342
Registered: 02-2002
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 03:06 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sometimes logic ain't got nothin' to do with it. Don't even try.

She's mourning a loss. She can't have what she wants, so she's sad, and she knows it's her fault, so she's pissed at herself. Logic won't help. There's nothing about the situation that she doesn't understand. And she knows it's silly or it wouldn't have taken so much effort to get her to tell you. She just doesn't like the situation. You've got to give her time to get over it, at her own speed.

And don't, under any circumstances, laugh at how she feels. You'll be on the guest bed for a week.

In the meantime, you gotta get the Pom for your daughter before it's gone. So don't get sidetracked. Don't waste time on whether she SHOULD feel the way she does. It's not relevant. Just get her to sign off of the the decision by focusing on the fact that it's what your daughter wants.
 

Graham Cox
Senior Member
Username: T2driver

Post Number: 1287
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 03:25 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Profound, Paul, and I concur on all counts. Thanks.
 

Paul Hayslett
Senior Member
Username: Paulhayslett

Post Number: 1343
Registered: 02-2002
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 04:35 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

All credit really goes to my wife, the psychiatrist. No, I didn't show her your post. But I've learned a few things from her over the years. I'm just saying what she would say if asked.
 

Bill Pierce
Moderator
Username: Billpierce

Post Number: 7643
Registered: 01-2002
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 11:27 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm amazed at the brilliance occasionally expressed on this site. Sometimes it's nothing short of profound.

Of course I've also seen some of the most absolutely boneheaded waste of bandwidth ever created.
 

Dan Listermann
Senior Member
Username: Listermann

Post Number: 4846
Registered: 03-2004
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 01:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You know, females don't have that Y chromosome that seems to make males sensible. But, on the other hand, I doubt that females would be nearly as attractive if they did have it.
 

Bill Walton
Member
Username: Vladie

Post Number: 199
Registered: 06-2003
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 01:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Great response Paul.

The only thing I would add/change is that it is less important to rush into getting the Pom as it is to allow your wife to be involved in the selection of the new dog to help her get over the missed opportunity. If you go to your local shelter you will see lots of really great dogs that need homes and she will fall in love with another one. It is also more important to get a dog that will fit your home/family/lifestyle than to rush into getting a dog that is available.

Not that you asked my opinion, but a Pomeranian may not be the best choice for a household with younger children, particularly a Pom that you know nothing about. They are very small dogs and delicate dogs that have to be handled carefully, and they can be (I'm not saying all are, but can be) somewhat tempermental and snappy, particularly to any rough treatment like that from children. Of course your daughter wouldn't mean to hurt the dog, its just that children aren't as coordinated as adults.

If hearts are set on a Pom however, I would suggest getting with a Pomeranian breed rescue organization. Breed rescue people know a lot about the breeds the represent because the have seen the good and the bad. They can work with you to make sure you end up with a dog that will fit in with your family, and costs are almost always much lower than breeders for purebred dogs.

It was good to meet you in Asheville!

Bill
 

Graham Cox
Senior Member
Username: T2driver

Post Number: 1289
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 01:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Good to meet you too, Bill!

I have experience with Poms - my parents had one that lived to 18, and I spent a lot of time with it. I'll never forget when I finally left home for good to join the Navy. I had packed my car to the rafters and said my goodbyes. I drove down the street and turned onto the highway. A motion in my rearview mirror attracted my eye - it's Amadeus flying after the car, running in full horizontal extension, so fast he was hardly touching the ground. I had never seen him run even half that fast! And running after a car was completely out of character for him. It warmed my heart and broke it at the same time.

We used to take him skiing with us, and he'd get right up on the prow of the boat and ride with his nose up in the air. He was the "figurehead" on our "ship!" The neighbors that lived on the creek would always laugh when they saw us going by.

Anyhoo, the current dog may not even be available anymore. We'll see.
 

Miker
Advanced Member
Username: Miker

Post Number: 678
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 02:41 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I thought your mom already e-mailed the Pomeranian? Tell your wife it's impossible to return it with the computer system you have.
 

Bill Walton
Member
Username: Vladie

Post Number: 200
Registered: 06-2003
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 03:00 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Those are great stories, Graham. It is good to hear you have experience and know what you are getting into. I have worked with several shelters and rescue organizations over the years, to one extent or another, and it always sends up a red flag when I hear of someone considering a "convenient" dog. It sounds like you have that part of the situation well in hand.

Good luck with the dog search.

BW
 

Belly Buster Bob
Senior Member
Username: Canman

Post Number: 2888
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 03:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

If a man is all alone in the woods with no woman to hear him........is he still wrong???
 

Mike A.
Intermediate Member
Username: Mike_a

Post Number: 355
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 03:35 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

This probably won't help much, but buying from a pet shop is usually not the best option.
 

Bill Pierce
Moderator
Username: Billpierce

Post Number: 7649
Registered: 01-2002
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 04:17 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I agree that pet shop dogs are usually less than ideal. Breeders who love their dogs are often willing to work with people who they know will be good owners, even if it means receiving less money. They also sometimes know of a situation where a dog needs a good home. The best dog people I know are seldom in it for the money first.

Of course this is all reason talking rather than Graham's wife's emotions. Paul, I hope your wife realizes what a wise choice she made.

(Message edited by BillPierce on September 12, 2007)
 

Bill Pierce
Moderator
Username: Billpierce

Post Number: 7653
Registered: 01-2002
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 06:38 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Graham, my wife and her teenage daughters are very similar. Whenever I state something that I assume is merely a note of truth or reality, they respond, "You're mean!" Emotion trumps logic every time.
 

Paul Hayslett
Senior Member
Username: Paulhayslett

Post Number: 1345
Registered: 02-2002
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 09:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

>> You know, females don't have that Y chromosome that seems to make males sensible....

ROFLMAO!!

Dan, if you really think that men are more sensible than women, you've obviously never been to a boat show.

"Honey, we already have a boat! Why do we need a new one when we only use it 5 or 6 times a year? And who in Heaven's name really needs TWO 250hp outboards on a 28ft boat?"

"But, but, but, Sweetie! It's, like, all shiny! And it goes really fast! Please, can I have it? Please? Please?"

For that matter, the mere existence of ESPN, "pro" wrestling, or B3 sculptures should be sufficient evidence that 98% of the time women are vastly more sensible than men.
 

Jake Isaacs
Intermediate Member
Username: Jake

Post Number: 444
Registered: 04-2002
Posted on Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 10:16 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I have learned (and continue to learn) the hard way about this particular brand of gender miscommunication. She was discussing a problem with you, you tried to help her solve it. WRONG!

She didn't want a solution, she just wanted you to sympathize. A correct answer would have been "I know you wanted that one, honey. It would have been a great dog and I really feel for you. How about a glass of wine and a back rub?" Now instead of an angry wife, you have a relaxed wife working on a buzz... (cue the bad 70's funky porn music)

Even knowing all this, I still walk into that trap again and again (and again).
 

Denny Conn
Senior Member
Username: Denny

Post Number: 6456
Registered: 01-2001
Posted on Friday, September 14, 2007 - 08:19 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"For that matter, the mere existence of ESPN, "pro" wrestling, or B3 sculptures should be sufficient evidence that 98% of the time women are vastly more sensible than men."....truer words were never spoken, Paul!
 

Ron Siddall
Intermediate Member
Username: El_cid

Post Number: 396
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Friday, September 14, 2007 - 08:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Paul, you missed your calling as a comedy writer.
 

Graham Cox
Senior Member
Username: T2driver

Post Number: 1300
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 11:20 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well, here's the end of this chapter of the saga (and the beginning of the next one):

Max
 

Ron La Borde
New Member
Username: Pivoron

Post Number: 4
Registered: 07-2007
Posted on Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 08:37 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The beginning of the next chapter.
If your wife thought the $300 was too much - this would indicate that she has no idea of what it costs to maintain a dog!

Good Luck to the dog!
 

Bob Wall
Senior Member
Username: Brewdudebob

Post Number: 1085
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 09:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"this would indicate that she has no idea of what it costs to maintain a dog!"

What...have the cost of burlap sacks and bricks gone up?

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