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brewknob (cb52827-a.elmhst1.il.home.com - 24.182.35.39)
Posted on Saturday, November 03, 2001 - 06:30 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

guy walks into a bar and orders a rare 12 year old scotch. the bartender serves him up the house brand. "my good man...this is not the scotch i ordered." well the bartender goes in the back room and finds an 8 year old bottle of the the same scotch...serves this to the guy. "my good man...although this is the scotch i ordered it is 8 years old and not 12" a drunk in the corner hands the man a shot glass "here drink this." the man tips up the shot glass and drinks it "THIS IS PISS!" he shouts. "right!" said the drunk. "no how old am i?"
 

Sean Richens (149.99.97.216)
Posted on Wednesday, November 07, 2001 - 06:23 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Guy walks into a bar, he's shaking like a leaf. He orders a high-end single malt "quickly, before the trouble starts". He downs it, and orders a second. He says, "Please hurry, I need another drink before the trouble starts." He downs it just as fast and orders another, again, wanting it before the trouble starts.

The bartender brings him his third malt, and says, "Sir, normally we only let regulars run a tab. Could I ask you to settle your bill as you go?" The guy answers, "Oh, no, this is where the trouble starts."

Let me recommend a new book, "Notes on a beermat" or "Drinking, and why it's necessary" by Nicholas Pashley. It's a manifesto on what a pub or bar ought to be, mostly centred on Toronto with occasional excursions to NYNY and overseas. And it has a chapter of "guy walks into a bar" jokes.
 

Bill Pierce (proxy1-external.wkgn1.il.home.com - 24.4.255.48)
Posted on Wednesday, November 07, 2001 - 02:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You know," the bartender says, "there's a drink named after you." "That's odd," says the grasshopper. "Why would anyone name a drink 'Bob'?"
 

Beee-yah
New Member
Username: Beeeyah

Post Number: 12
Registered: 07-2005
Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 09:14 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Guy walks into a bar, looking very down and out. "Could I get a black label rocks?" Bartender hands it to him. Guy slams it back in one gulp. While staring at the bar, "Another, please?" Bartender hands it to him. Slams it back. Another? Hands it to him. This continues on a couple more times. Bartender says, "Man, yer really poundin' 'em back!" Guy says, "Well, you would be too right now if you had what I just found out I have." "What've ya got?" Guy looks up brightly "A buck twenty!"

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