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Ice Guy (66.31.102.134)
Posted on Friday, February 01, 2002 - 04:56 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

A monkey walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, bartender, you got any bananas?"
The bartender looks at the monkey and says, "No, sorry, this is a bar. We don't have any bananas."
The next day, the monkey walks into the bar again, and says, "Hey bartender, you got any bananas?"
Again, the bartender looks at the monkey and says, "No. I told you yesterday, this is a bar. We don't have any bananas."
The next day, the monkey walks into the bar again and says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, you got any bananas."
The bartender, agitated by the monkey's ridiculous question for the third day in a row snaps, "Monkey, look, I told you we don't have any bananas. If you come in here again and ask for bananas, I'm going to nail your tongue to the bar. Now get out!"
The next day the monkey walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, you got any nails?"
The bartender, with a puzzled look on his face, looks at the monkey and says, "Uh, no, I don't have any nails."
The monkey says, "You got any bananas then?"
 

Simon Jester (192.31.106.34)
Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2002 - 06:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Three gentlemen are sitting at a bar when an Orangutan comes in and sits down next to them. The bartender gives the animal a strange look and is about to shoo it out when the Orangutan points at the beer tap and then down at the place in front of his seat.

The bartender figures what the heck and draws a beer for him. The Orangutan lays a $5.00 bill on the bar and proceeds to drink the beer. The bartender takes the bill and gives back a nickle in change, figuring the animal doesn't know anything about money.

One of the three gentlemen is so amazed, he remarks "Huh, we don't get many monkies around here". The Orangutan replies "First, I'm not a monkey, I'm an Orangutan and at $4.95 a beer I'm surprised anybody's here at all".

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